Dear Johnathan

Dear Johnathan,

Tomorrow morning when you wake up you will be 10!  I will never forget that morning.  It was extremely early and I had been up all night very excited about finally getting to meet you.  You were born around 5 am and I will never forget that moment!  They put you in my arms and the world faded away.  For eight and half months you grew inside of me.  I had wondered what you would look like.  What color eyes would you have? What color hair? Would you have hair? How much would you weigh? Would you look like me, or your daddy?  But, there was no way I could ever prepare myself for the way I felt when I held you in my arms that first time.  You were perfect!  My heart was so full I felt it might just bust.   Later that day I remember being overwhelmed with the responsibility God had given me when He gave you to me.  See I was young.  I turned 22 a couple days after you were born.  Your daddy and I were still newlyweds figuring things out as a married couple, in seminary, poor as dirt.  I take my responsibility to love you and teach you what God desires for me to teach you very seriously.  Sometimes it still overwhelms me.  But, I want you to know this.  You have taught me so much.  God has used you to grow me up.  He has used you to teach me about how much He loves me.  He has used you to teach me what childlike faith looks like.  You are an amazing gift from God and I never want you to forget that.  God gave you to me and I will be forever thankful to Him. 

As I think about these past 10 years and the fact that you growing up in front of my eyes so fast I can hardly stand it, all I can think about is how blessed I am.  Since day 1 you have been a joyful, peaceful, loving child.  You were the baby that everyone wanted.  You slept through the night quickly, you didn't cry unless you had a reason, and you loved being held by anyone who wanted to hold and love on you.  As you have gotten older these qualities have just grown.  Now, as a ten year old, you are such a joy to be around.  Your sense of humor can make anyone laugh.  Your facial expressions alone are enough to make someone laugh so hard they will cry.  You are so sweet to everyone you meet.  You have been blessed with sweet friends of all ages and I love watching you with them.  You love wrestling, playing football, and anything else rough, but you know when to calm down.  You are usually the first to check on someone when they are hurt and you feel terrible if you are the reason they are hurt.  You love on younger boys that look up to you like I have never seen a boy your age do.  You encourage them and teach them things you know.  When your sister was born you took your responsibility of big brother seriously.  You protect her.  You take care of her.  You enjoy being with her and she looks up to you.  You are extremely smart and athletic.  You are just all around a great kid.   Oh and I can't forget the fact that you love pretty girls! ;) 

The thing I love most about you though is your desire to obey God.  You love learning about Him and His plan for you.  When you learn something new about how He desires you to live, you practice it.  I look forward to watching you continue to grow in your walk with Him.  I look forward to the years ahead as you move from boy to young man to man.  As much as I dread them because that means you will be grown, I am that much more excited about what God has for you. 

You are my favorite 10 year old and I will always love you!

~Mommy

Mr. Edward

It has been a while since I have posted.  There is not a day that passes that I do not think about my sweet grandma.  I am still reminding myself on a daily basis that she is no longer here.  She will not be calling to check on me and we will not be having lunch anytime soon.  As sad and depressing as that sounds as soon as those thought cross my mind they immediately shift to thoughts about her worshiping Jesus and loving on all the sweet babies and young children that friends of mine have lost over the years.  I think about the perfect body she has and all the sadness goes away.  How can I be sad?  Yes, I am sad for me, but not for her!

I also think a lot about the last month I had with her.  I have already written about Mrs. Louise and her impact on my life.  I want to share with about someone else who made a huge difference in my grandma's life by doing something that you and I would probably consider so small. 

Mr. Edward (I can not remember his last name) is sweet man in his 60's or 70's.  He has been working with St. Dominic's for almost his whole working career.  He is not a doctor.  He is not a nurse.  He is not a chaplain.  So what does he do you ask?  He transports people from the main hospital to the cancer center building.  Yep!  That's his job!  He would come in help move my grandma from her bed to wheelchair, wheel her to the van, drive across the street, and wheel her to the waiting room.  He has been doing this so long, that he remembered her from the first time she had cancer and she remembered him.  He was sweet and gentle with her frail little body.  He came in the room just whistling away to himself.  He would make sure the wheelchair had enough cushion and then he would move her over.  Once in the chair he would wrap her up in blanket so she wouldn't get cold.  Then, with a smile on his face he would wheel her to the van and get her situated.  He never really talked much, but you knew he loved what he did and that He loved Jesus! Grandma loved him.  The last day she had treatment while at the hospital she made sure we had a little gift to give him and she hugged and kissed on the cheek as he was leaving. 

So what did I learn from him?  Well, we have put so many levels on jobs these days.  I mean who really wants to have a job driving patients from one building to another all day long?!?!  However, Mr. Edward knew that is what God called him to do, so he did it amazingly!  He put into action exactly what it means to do everything unto to the Lord.  I pray that whatever God calls me to do, even if the world thinks its a little task, I will do it will all that is in me, as unto the Lord.