Saturday, April 28, 2012

Bring it On!

Well, my classes have officially begun.  The past week has been one of great emotion.  I started the week by receiving books and printing notes and syllabuses.  I became very overwhelmed by the step I had taken.  I began to doubt myself and my abilities and truthfully wondered what in the world I had gotten myself into.  I looked at the papers I am going to have to write and realized it has been almost 10 years since I have used APA.  I thought about how smart my husband is and how he will be reading all my discussion answers and 2 of papers and grading them.  I thought about all the things that are going to get in the way of me studying.  However, in His amazing ways, God reminded me over and over that He is in control and He has called me to do this during this time in my life and He will sustain me and give me what I need to bring glory to His name.

Tonight, I posted my first 2 discussion question answers on my class page and it felt good.  God showed up!  He helped me recall all that I had learned through the video lectures and reading I have done the past couple days and it felt good.  I felt smart!! I know that He allowed me to have to tonight to remind me, again, that He's got this!  As long as I follow His plan and work hard what is assigned, His name will be glorified!!  SO, BRING IT ON!!  Bring on the papers, discussion questions, and massive amounts of reading!!  I got this!!  Cause I have GOD on my side!!

I also can not end this post without saying that I have the best husband in the world.  He is excited with me and for me during this time and he has been nothing but encouraging to me.  He told me the other day that is he was glad he had an opportunity to "pay me back" for the years I supported him during school.  God has definitely used him during this past week in more ways than he knows.

Monday, April 23, 2012

like feet of deer

Lately I feel like I have been running around with my head cut off.  I seem to have forgotten which way I am going, and what needs done.  Our schedule this month has been anything but normal.  When the month of April is over, we will have celebrated Princess T's 6th birthday, been out of town as a family two times, seen daddy go out of town 2 times, and Professor and I have had a getaway.  On top of this, my sweet grandma's stress fracture still has not completely healed and so I have been taking her to all her appointments AND (in case that was not enough) my mom had knee replacement surgery (unfortunately I have not been as much help as I would have liked to be - but I have tried very heard to do whatever I can whenever I can).  Needless to say I am starring the last week of April in the face and have no clue how I got here or where the beginning part went.  My house is a disaster, the kids are behind in school (not by much, but still not exactly where I would like to be at this point).  I feel behind in every area of my life and so say I am discouraged about it would be a understatement.  

This morning, I woke up with a horrible headache, which led to me leaving church immediately following LifeGroup and sleeping the whole afternoon.  I feel better (sort of) but worse at the same time.  See, God is moving big time at our church and this morning in Worship HE WAS THERE!!!!!  AND I MISSED IT!!!!  I missed seeing HIM at work!!  Stupid sinuses!!!  I think I might have to cut them out!  On top of that I am awake at 2:45 am, with no hope of sleep anytime soon.  So even though I needed that nap this afternoon, there were consequences!!  

As I laid in bed trying to sleep my mind kept thinking about what had happened at church this morning and how God has placed our family at Colonial Heights for a reason and how thankful I am that HE chose us to be a part of HIS work at CH.  I am not worthy of it all.  I am totally undeserving of it.  In fact, sometimes I think God must be crazy when He looks at me and still chooses to love me and use me to complete His plans here on earth.  I mean, I can't even keep it together when life gets crazy!!  

There are few times when I have felt that God was keeping me awake for a reason and tonight is one.  See, after all these thoughts, I had another one.  In craziness of April, I had neglected the most important thing.  I had decided to be in control and totally pushed God out of His place in my life.  Right there in bed God just comforted me and told me He forgave me but it needed to change.  He wants His place back.  So, I got out of bed and came to the couch.  I began reading in the New Testament (mainly because I am behind on the reading plan our church is doing) and in my head I just kept thinking about Habakkuk.  See, earlier this week, the kids and I learned about Habakkuk and his role in Biblical History and while learning about him I realized I had maybe only read his book once and probably needed to read it again (of course because we are busy I didn't).  So, I flipped over to Habakkuk and began to read.  

Before I say anything else, you need to know. Habakkuk lived in a horrible time. He lived around the time King Josiah was reigning and right before Babylon took over Judah.  People all around him were evil and choosing not to follow Christ.  God was about to allow Babylon to take over Judah as punishment for their disobedience.

Habakkuk starts out his book asking God why in the world God would allow him to see such horrible things.  God comforts him and tells him to be patient, that in time it would end and things would get better.  (Please keep in mind this my paraphrase - for specific wording you can read Habakkuk in your Bible).  By the end of Habakkuk, he is choosing the trust God and he acknowledges that God is all powerful and can do whatever He wants.  Then he writes these verses at the very end....

Though the fig tree does not bud 
   and there are no grapes on the vines, 
though the olive crop fails 
   and the fields produce no food, 
though there are no sheep in the pen 
   and no cattle in the stalls, 
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, 
   I will be joyful in God my Savior.
 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
   He makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
   He enables me to tread on the heights.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

WOW!!!  Did God know what I needed or what?!?!  Isn't He amazing.  He could have led me to read verses about bad things that happen when you disobey, but instead He reminded that He is Sovereign and that if I allow Him to be my strength, He will not only give it to me but He will allow me to step in confidence (like the feet of a deer) and He will lead me to the heights (my high places).  God is so good!  

Thanks for reading my incredibly long post.  I pray that it was an encouragement to you today (or whenever you read it). 

Monday, April 16, 2012

Times Like This....

The Princess has a very hard personality.  None of us in this house understand her!  She does what she wants when she wants and truthfully rarely cares what the consequences are.  However, there are times (that are becoming closer and closer together the older she gets) when I can take a deep breath because I am reminded that God is working in her life, no matter what I see on a daily basis.  This video is of one of those times.  It was taken at Professor's parents' house over Easter weekend.

Friday, April 13, 2012

New Beginnings

Nine years ago I was faced with a big decision.  Professor and I had just moved to Texas.  We were both in school and both working multiple jobs.  It was a very trying time in our marriage and life.  On top of this we found out some very excited, yet scary news, we were going to be parents!  Yes, in January of 2003, only 2 weeks after moving, I found out I was pregnant with Wild Man.  Well as you can imagine, this changed everything!  One big thing it did was to make us painfully aware of the fact that we could not afford or manage both us being in school, with several jobs, and a new born.  So, one of us had to take a break from school.  Since we had moved to Texas for Professor's schooling, and since I was the mom and most of the newborn duties would fall on me, I made the very difficult decision to take a break from school.  Those who were close to me then know how hard it was.  I had never once before then even considered not finishing college.  It never crossed my mind.  In fact, I looked down on those who didn't.  I never understood why people wouldn't go to college if they could.  So, this felt like defeat to me.  I felt like a failure.  I lost some friends (who really in all honesty were not friends) because of my decision.  I had mean things said to me and lots of people began to judge me and look down on me, as I had to so many people.  It suddenly became my mission to finish school at some point just to prove people wrong.  So that I could look at the people who had said, "you will never go back" and say, "I told you so!  Look at me!"

As the years went by and began to really love being a mom and the role God had given me the need to go back to college began to grow faint.  I still had people tell me that it was a bad decision to quit and that would never finish.  However, the older I got and the more in love with God I fell, the need to made people happy or prove them wrong grew weaker and weaker.  Suddenly I found myself in a great place. I was doing things God wanted me to do, not the world.  So, I made another decision.  I decided that if and when I went to back to school, it would be in God's time, for God's glory!  And, if that meant I never went back, then I was okay with that.  Being in the center of God's plan for my life became priority.  I did not care what the world said about me and my education.  After all, I was not going to stand before them when I died!  

As many of you know over the past few years God has been working in amazing ways in my life and one thing He has called me to do is teach my kids at home.  Many of you would be surprised to know that in the state of Mississippi you do not have to have a college degree to to do this.  This was right up my alley.  I love teaching and now I was able to do something I loved and didn't need a college degree!! God is good.  

However, during my research of homeschooling I learned that many states are requiring a degree.  I am sure that MS will be the last one but it became apparent to me that eventually this might be an issue.  About 2 years ago, I began to pray about this.  I wanted to go when it was God's time, not mine, but my heart begin to ache to finish my degree so that if one day MS did make it a law, I would still have the ability to homeschool my children.  

Well after 2 years of prayer God has made it clear that it is time!  I am going back to school!  Not because I want to prove people wrong, but because I want to bring glory to the name of GOD and He has made it clear that I need to do this in order to fulfill what HE has in store for our family in the future.  

I will be completing my degree 100% online.  This will still give me the freedom to homeschool and be the wife and mom God has called me to be.  I will be changing my major from Elementary Education to a Bachelor of Science in Business Management.  Right now I am still in the application process but if all goes well I will begin either at the end of April or in June at the latest.  

I am very excited and can not wait to see how God uses this next phase of my life for HIS glory!!

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

Happy Birthday Princess!

My word! 6 years has gone by way too fast and my baby girl is no longer a baby!  Sometimes my heart hurts when I think about how fast time is flying!  Princess T entered the world at 7:05 am on April 4, 2006, weighing 7 lbs 6 oz AND she was 4 weeks early!!!  She wanted us to know who was in charge from the beginning!

I have no words to describe how much I love this girl. She is a very challenging child sometimes, but when she is in a good mood she is so fun!  She is at such a fun stage in her life right now.  She has learned to read, which has opened up a whole new world for her!  She loves using big words and pronouncing each word with lots of drama. She lives in her little world where fairies are real and animals talk to each other and to her.  She loves being a "mommy" to her babies and truthfully could careless what her room looks like.  She loves being around people and being the center of attention.  But, the thing I love most about her, is her love for the Lord.  She LOVES learning about God and how He wants her live.  She loves praying and has such a sensitive heart for people who are hurting, even if she doesn't know them.  She loves being at church and reading her Bible.

As I type this birthday post to my princess, I filled with joy and thankfulness for the years I have had with her.  I pray that I have many more years with her and that she will continue to grow into the girl God wants her to be.

Happy Birthday my sweet Princess!!  You are my favorite 6 year old!!!