Okay I have a confession....Sometimes when I am driving around town running errands or getting my children from one place to another my mind goes back to when I was in high school. I think because I grew up driving on these streets, it is so easy for my mind to go back to when I was first driving on them. I think about life then and what I was like. I think about the friends I had then and responsibilities (or lack of them) that I had then. Then, at some point I begin to question why I am driving a minivan and who the kids are that are in the back. All this goes through my mind in no more than a minute (funny how the mind works) and then one of those precious children says, "Mommy!" and I snap back into reality. I am no longer 16 and I am not headed to meet my friends at the movie or at Mazzio's after church. I remember that I am 30 and that I am a mom and that I am most likely headed to the grocery store. However, I love my life now. I would not change it for the world! Well, I might change one thing....
I hate that my kids are growing so fast!! I feel like every time I blink they grow another inch! When Wild Man was born, I remember every mom I knew at the time telling me to enjoy because it flies by! I remember thinking, "I just want to sleep! How am I supposed to enjoy it?" I did enjoy those days for the most part and every one of those moms was right. It flies! AND, it seems like every year goes faster. The kids grow faster. They learn more and can do more on their own. Sometimes, I just sit and watch them. I watch them play with each other and with the kids our neighborhood. I watch them do their school and realize I have two incredibly smart children. I watch them laugh and I laugh with them as much as I can. I know they think I am crazy, but I want to remember these days when they are no longer living in my house. I want to look back (like I do when I think about their baby days) and have no regrets at all! I also know that it is my job to teach them to follow Christ and to do whatever He asks. So, that means one day they will leave. Thats just the way God wants it. But until then, I am thankful for everyday I have with them. I am thankful that God has blessed our family in such amazing ways and has allowed me to stay home with them. I am thankful that I have a husband, mom, dad, mother in law, father in law, sister in law, brother in law, grandmother, aunts, uncles, and tons of friends who love me for who I am and support our family's decision to give up things this world tells us we need so that I can enjoy these days with my kids, even if it hurts my heart to see them grow. It's a good hurt. It's the kind of hurt that only leaves growth when its gone.
No comments:
Post a Comment