The Professor and I plan everything. We are both planners and like to know how things are going to turn out. We already have the next few years planned out. The Prof finishes seminars in May 2008. We have decided if we begin applying in December of 2007, then surely by August of 2008 we will have a decent job. At that point we will move into a house and few months later add a minivan and dog to the family. Then, one year later The Prof will graduate! See, we have it all figured out.
While I was in Jackson a few weeks ago I had a friend call me and tell me about an awesome ministry opportunity. I loved the organization (I had heard of it before) and I really could see the Prof and I love being a part of this ministry. However, it would require a move. We would not have to move far. But, it is still a move. I immediately, without thinking or praying about it, said, "No! I do not want to move again until we move into our house!" See moving right now, even if it is a close move would mess up our plan. Plus the ministry requires an 18 mo commitment which really would mess up the whole job search thing. If we ended up doing this, then Lee would have to start writing his dissertation here, instead of the new office he wanted to have in our house. How could God want us to do this...it is against anything we have planned.
Wow! I have been here before. I have said no so many times. The same thing always happens. God always, at some point, says, "Who is in control? You or Me?" Then I reply with "Well you are, God. I mean I have commited to live for you 100% and well..." and it hits me! Have you ever had one of those times? Where God just totally calls you out! He allows you to have many sleepless nights, or makes you think about things over and over until that conversation happens? Well it happened to me last night (Monday night). After days of struggling with it, I gave in. I am putting God back in control.
As for the ministry, we shall see what happens. This may have been God's way of getting my attention and showing me that I had once again tried to take over. However, this may be God directing us to join this ministry team. At this point He is the only one who knows.
In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9
8 comments:
WOW! I am so with you! Don't you find that as you get older and God shows you time after time that He will provide for you that the time it takes to get to the point of giving Him control is a little shorter? That's my prayer, that God would teach me to relinquish control the instant something like this comes up! Thanks for sharing your heart today!
yes, the time it takes to get to this point is getting shorter the older i get and the closer to the Lord i get. i long for the day that letting Him be in control, no matter what, comes very natural to me and it something i do not have to give thought to. my prayer is the same as yours.
also, i am thankful i have a way to share my heart and life with others. thank you blogspot!
i am soooooo proud of you and your sweet husband. i look at you and listen to you and tell God thanks for all He's done in and through you - in spite of me! if i could have planned out what i wanted you to be (inside and out) when you got older....that is what i see now!!!
i love you! mom
wow! that made me tear up. i was very blessed to have you as a mom and despite what you think, you were a great mom! you taught me more of what i know than you think you did. i love you!
Isn't it funny how we work so hard at being in control and having everything all planned out because we think that's what will make us feel better and more secure. But really, when we give it up to Jesus and let Him take control it frees us and makes us feel so much better?
I love you and I will be praying that God leads you and Professor to just the right decision!
wow. I am interested to know where this is heading!!
I am praying for you and your family. And looking forward to hearing about the adventures God has planned for yall!
kearsmom, you are so right! i already feel so much better just knowing that i have given it completely to Him.
junebug, i am also interested to know where this is headed :-) i will keep you posted.
thank you both for praying! the prof and i can not tell you how blessed we feel to know that people are praying for us.
You are in the right place at the right time. I heard it said once "The best place to be is in the center of God's will." I am sure you can agree with this even if your not in that dream home yet. If you were in the dream home but not in His will..... Need I finish that thought?
Anyway, I am proud of you two. I'll be praying as you continue the journey He has you on.
Post a Comment